I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
