Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I enjoy the company of your penis
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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