I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
