reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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