dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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