If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
