Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My ass is underappreciated
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
