Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
