that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize