She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
