I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
