Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
