i don't like sucking hair
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
