The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
