I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
