Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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