I think im going to throw up on grandma
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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