dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
