sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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