I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
