Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
