i think i have herpe
just one?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
