Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We need to rekindle our bromance
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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