I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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