I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
