Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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