The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
PANTIES FOUND
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