Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize