Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
