so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
