just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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