We're like a lot better than the average bears
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
