STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
