i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
