You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize