Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
