Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
