i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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