sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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