He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
