I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
