Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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