Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
