your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
