I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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