Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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