I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just had sex on a roof
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
