I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize