white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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