i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
