I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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