I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Soap is not a condiment
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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