Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
