what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
