i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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