Kiss
Puke
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
