Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
