It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
