i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
