u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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