Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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