i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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