Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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