what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
