on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
